The gym

My wife drove me to a gym with no warning wanting to check it out and see if we could do it. We’re fat.
Both of us. She also has a lot of other health issues I have yet to have but could probably bet on in my 40s if I don’t curb the sugar/bread and get more active.  Anyway, it created in me a big panic and we get in a huge argument. Crazy. I have a talent for being short sighted as well as not being able to accurately remember events without skewing them with shame or guilt.
So I’m crying. She’s feeling unheard, unsupported, and judged. Lovely evening. All over working out and spending the $ yet again on some scheme we in the past haven’t /won’t take advantage of after the first month or 2… Like other gyms, sensa, protein shakes, liquid fasts, almased, south beach, the zone,  overeaters anonymous, whole food, green tea pills/drink, Atkins, weight watchers, curves, jenny Craig. . . Can I fucking stop already?!?!?! But continuing to eat until I gain another 100 lbs in the next year would be stupid too.

This one’s called Getting Ready:JSW2014.

Nam Myoho Renge Kyo